Texas Secession Plans

As y’all know Vicki and I had a month-long tour of Texas visiting friends. Hugs and kisses, laughter and reminisces greeted us at every stop.

Filled with a brimful of spirit and endurance we traveled all over the state from the piney woods to the mountain deserts. Every day satisfied our first class curiosity.

Rolling along the undulant grassland prairie, we topped a knoll to see the village of Rising Star on the plains below.

Calling Rising Star a village is a ponderous exaggeration because it is nothing but a crossroad with a gas station and a few huts scattered about.

You can understand that we were utterly astounded when we saw thousands of people gathered around the town’s lone caution light.

As we eased along we saw signs emblazed with the Texas star over which words were written: “Republic Rebels” “One Star, One Country”; “Secede Success”; “Texas Country.”

A tall and lanky Marlboro man mounted a pedestal smack dab in the middle of the crowd. He wore a neatly pressed red, white and blue shirt embellished by a lone star, blue jeans covered by fringed chaps and Lucchese calfskin boots.

Sunshine bathed his ten-gallon hat as he began to speak in a rolling cadence.

Well folks, he began, y’all know why we’ve come here. We are gathered to start a movement—a movement of secession.”

A cacophony of whoops and hurrahs deafened the ears.

After about five minutes of yelling and shouting and dancing all around, the crowd finally settled as the cowboy’s stentorian voice thundered across the prairie.

You know these ‘mericans have been spittin’ and spattin’ about building a wall around our southern border.

While the ‘mericans argue their highfalutin ways. We Texans can build a fourteen-foot wall with an electrified top that sinks eight feet down. Sonic waves and lazar beams will protect the entire surface from invasion. Our Texas Rangers will guard every inch of the wall.

Brown and Root Construction can build that wall in less than a year. Oil grants from the University of Texas and Texas A &M will pay for it.

Hats flew in the air followed by billowing cheers all around.

And folks you know what I am saying is rock solid truth. We need a wall all around Texas–from the Sabine River to Texarkana; from Texarkana to Texline; from Texline to El Paso and from El Paso to the Gulf Coast.

That’s the only way we can keep those arrogant Californians out. That’s the only way we can keep those socialist Yankees away. And, of course, we will trade with and allow visitation rights with our mid-western and southern friends.

Sounds of stomping feet and yippee ki-yays rolled across the prairie. The Marlboro Man was roaring now. He was all thunder and lightning.

We got our own grid.

We got our own oil and gas.

We got our own refineries.

We got our own Houston shipyard.

We got our own Southwest Airlines and the Battleship of Texas, too.

We got hardworking Texas patriots and Texas sized brains.

We got “The Eyes of Texas.” We got “The Aggie War Hymn” and we got Willie Nelson, South by Southwest and Austin City Limits.”

We got the Red Raiders, the Horned Frogs, the Mustangs, the Bears, the Cougars and countless other superb universities that teach critical thinking and listen and learn from debates from all sides.

We got the Cowboys and the Texans. We got the Texas Rangers, the Astros, and the Spurs, too.

We got judges that believe crime should be punished, not mocked. We believe in law-and-order and that the best man wins.

We got friendship and smiles; laughter and love. And we got helping hands and praying lips.

We got ranches. We got farms. We got humongous lakes and underground aquifers.

We got longhorns, quarter horses and land that stretches all the way to sundown. And don’t forget the Sweetwater Rattlesnake Roundup.

We got skyscrapers and teepees; urban sophistication and rodeos; art museums and Luckenbach.

We got true grit and tall tells; grinders and hustlers.

Just then the crowd got western so Vicki and I eased on out and pointed our way to the high plains where more Texas patriots dwell.

As we drove away, I told Vicki that I must write about this spectacle. Vicki countered, “I thought your blog was about encouragement, inspiration and hope?”

“Who said passion, free speech, humor and fresh ideas are not encouraging,” I replied.

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