Perfectionists tell themselves: “I must do better than everybody else”; “I must make a 4.0”; “I must make the starting team”; “I must be the top salesperson”; “I must be the top executive”; “I should have done much better”; “I ought to work harder than everyone in the company”; “My house must be in perfect order before I invite friends for dinner”; “Everyone should like me.” “I ought to be the most popular.”…and so on and on they hit themselves with impossible demands day after day.
Here are some questions perfectionists can ask themselves to counter their self-imposed burdensome demands.
- Every time?
- Who specifically told you that?
- What makes you think that?
- Where did you learn that?
- When did you learn that?
- How do you know?
- Are your feelings based on facts?
- Will your thinking help protect your life and health?
- Will your thoughts help you avoid conflicts with others?
- Will your thinking help you feel the emotions you want to feel?
How to apply these questions to everyday situations will be discussed in future blogs. Stay tuned.