A joyful heart is good like medicine, but a broken spirit dries the bones.
Proverbs 17:22
Since the publication of An Anatomy of an Illness by Norman Cousins in 1979, much has been written about the use of humor in achieving physical and emotional health.
Cousins, the former editor of Saturday Review, wrote about recovering from ankylosing spondylitis, a rheumatoid-like disorder.
Considering the hospital noisy and impersonal, Cousins checked into a hotel room where he read inspirational and humorous literature and watched Candid Camera and Groucho Marx film clips.
Although flat on his back with pain when the experiment began, within a few months Cousins returned to full-time work. He attributed his recovery to laughter and love.
Some people have a natural sense of humor; some are handicapped—a handicap almost as unfortunate as blindness or deafness.
Those without a sense of humor are called Presbyterians.
What’s wrong with that line? It is sarcastic, hostile humor. Avoid.
Actually I did know one Presbyterian with a sense of humor. He was excommunicated.
I threw in that sarcastic line to show how easy it is to write sarcastic humor. Many current standup comics use sarcastic humor because the lines come easily to mind and because many of our citizens are filled with anger.
It is easy to make fun of people but it is wrong and hurtful. Political humor is almost always sarcastic.
People who frequently use sarcasm have an anger problem.
What’s the difference between teasing and sarcasm? I don’t really know. It seems to me—and I could be wrong—that somehow teasing portrays more love than anger.
I love to be teased because I think it shows the other person likes being around me. Plus, I set things up to be teased.
Our son, Brad’s joie de vivre makes him easy to tease. Plus he has given me permission to tease him.
But I would never tease Vicki or our daughter Wende and her girls, because—I don’t know—it just doesn’t seem right.
I have been teasing some of my best friends but I am going to stop it because I am not absolutely certain they like it and it is tinged with hostility.
Bottom line: It is probably best to avoid teasing because of its convergence with sarcasm.
But if you like me please, please tease me.
What about Aggie jokes or as I call them let’s laugh together jokes? Everybody who lives in Texas loves Aggie jokes, especially Aggies. Let’s laugh together jokes are perfectly fine as long as the teller is certain there is no unconscious hostility.
I know I am getting technical here and I apologize, but let me add one point: masters of ceremony, preachers and speakers who use a joke to begin a message are amateurs.
A speaker’s first job is to build rapport with the audience. Beginning jokes make the audience uncomfortable because they unconsciously spot a tentative speaker.
Professionals sometimes get away with an opening joke, but in my opinion—and I could be wrong—opening jokes are best avoided even by the pros.
There are many techniques to relax the audience but I won’t go into them here.
Why I am suddenly writing about speaking techniques? I just realized, I miss speaking and teaching. In Texas I averaged two speeches a month. They were fun and invigorating. In Virginia I have given no—zero—authentic speech in ten years.
I’ve made a lot of excuses: Three hours from a major city; provincial audiences; blue-caller industry. Baloney.
The real reason: I was lazy and didn’t hustle.
The real reason: I was lazy and didn’t hustle.
Getting acclimatized to a new medical position kept me from following-up with companies. I was apathetic, dispassionate. I didn’t pursue speaking engagements.
The few pro bono speeches I gave early on here were hostile because I was homesick for Texas. This anger turned audiences away.
The few pro bono speeches I gave early on here were hostile because I was homesick for Texas. This anger turned audiences away.
If I want to start speaking again I must use the technique I used thirty years ago—rejoin Toastmasters (do they have a Toastmaster club here?), rejoin the National Speakers Association and give free talks to civic clubs, women’s clubs and anyone else who will listen. It will be fun.
This what is called a free association blog? I began with the goal of explaining what makes something funny and drifted away. Maybe next time.