I’m a semi-perfectionist. I should on myself a lot as in I should read more. I’m a must-tard like I must be the best psychiatrist in Blacksburg. (I am. I’m also the worst. I’m the only psychiatrist in Blacksburg.) I’m an oughteur as in I ought to practice the guitar. But at the same time I can forgive myself when I fail to live up to my expectations. Maybe you could say that I’m a lazy perfectionist.

I would like to do better, but I’m kinder to myself than Five-Star Perfectionists who grieve themselves and others in their quest for the quintessential:

• They’re consumed with the consummate. 
• Flayed by flawlessness. 
• Idiots to the ideal.
• Paralyzed by the paragon. 
• Usurped by the unsurpassable. 
• Quashed by the quintessential. 
• Their favorite desert is creme de la creme. 

Enough of that. I kinda got carried away with the word play….And I don’t want to discount the curse of perfectionism. It may be the most significant cause of depression. It’s a major contributor to anxiety. Perfectionists worry more. They are terrified of not being loved and the very fear of rejection drives people away.

Perfectionism is no laughing matter.

On the other hand humor is a perfectionist’s antitoxin.

Granted telling perfectionists to laugh at themselves is equivalent to telling a cowboy in a rattlesnake den to relax. Nonetheless, laughter is the lazy way to tolerate our imperfections. No Five-Method Program to Stop Procrastination or Ten Steps to Success Defeating Procrastination. No book to read or course to take. Just laughter.

Humor or to be more specific cosmic humor, the ability to not take ourselves so seriously and to see the absurdity in our daily strivings can be learned.

Cosmic humor occurs when something seems wrong or amiss while it simultaneously seems acceptable or safe.

All of us perfectionists and semi-perfectionist know that the quest for perfectionism is wrong, undesirable, heartbreaking, disturbing, upsetting, futile. The best way to manage this monster—to feel safe—is to take a mind’s eye look at ourselves and see, really see, the absurdity of our behavior, have a good laugh and treat ourselves with more compassion.

And here’s the paradox: When we don’t take ourselves so seriously we perform better.