In the last month I have lost my temper three times. Greater than lost: I was belligerent, bellicose, bombastic, confrontational, contentious, combative. What’s going on here? I considered this list:
- Gunny sacking—chronic suppressed anger that accumulates for a long period of time culminating into explosive angry outbursts.
- Fear—road rage is a good example. A car pulls dangerously in front of you causing unconscious fear that is expressed as anger. Of course there are other causes of road rage: Type A personality, a competitive nature, frustration at traffic, or maybe you are simply a jerk.
- There are other causes of fear anger. You may be afraid that you are inadequate or you are threatened in some way.
- You are thinned skinned—criticism from others or fear of criticism.
- You were raised by parents who abused you or served as an anger model.
- You have a genetic predisposition for anger.
- People that are difficult for you to get along with.
- Remembering that your teachers told you not to dangle participles.
- Bipolar disorder—an excess of chemicals in your brain.
- Depression—a depletion of certain chemicals in your brain.
- Drugs or alcohol
- Narcissistic, or borderline personality disorder
- Posttraumatic stress disorder
- Hypersensitivity to rejection
- Brain tumor
- Perfectionism and failure to live up to your expectations
- Dementia as in Alzheimer’s disease. Although half of individuals with dementia have Alzheimer’s, there are approximately 70 other diseases that can cause dementia.
- Fear of abandonment by family or friends.
- Politicians and other absurd people.
- Resentment toward friends or family.
- Family or economic stress
- Burn-out or work overload
I hope my anger was generated by overwork. Although I am semiretired and work only of Tuesdays and Wednesdays my hours are long—sometimes 12 hours, then there are numerous patient and family calls, plus I am getting old and can’t work as hard as I used to. There are other contributors to my angry outbursts. I’ll let you guess which ones. Please don’t guess Alzheimer’s.
What to do about anger:
- Determine the cause of your anger and do something about it.
- Knowing your tendencies and watching for them.
- Practicing meditation, yoga or other like calming methods.
- Exercising—vigorously.
- Rest and relaxation
- A vacation
- Forgiveness of others and self
- Cosmic humor—not taking yourself so seriously and laughing at yourself and your mistakes.
- Treating yourself with kindness.
- Empathy and being kind to others
- Avoiding jerks
- Walking away.
- Counting to 10.
- Mood stabilizers or other appropriate medications
- Bible study
- Prayer
I better begin working on these techniques. Anger is no fun. It makes enemies. And rather than reliving stress it engenders guilt, frustration, self-loathing and a bunch of other negative feelings.