Many successful people have a “neurotic” personality. The characteristics are:
- Take on more and more tasks
- Have a difficult time saying “no”
- Strive to please others
- Base their self-worth on the opinion of others
Many unsuccessul people have a personality disorder characterized by:
- Failure to assume responsibility for their own welfare
- Blame others for their problems
- Make excuses for their inappropriate behavior
- Don’t think they have a problem
- Instead they think someone who is trying to help them or put limits on them has the problem
“Neurotics” respond to those with personality problems by:
- Geting frustrated with the personality disordered individual
- Tending to blame themselves for failures of the personality disorder
- Try harder and harder to correct the behavior of the personality disordered
- Rescue the personality disordered over and over again
- Get sick, anxious, depressed, agitated, and worried while the personality disordered enjoys life as long as the “neurotic” lets them alone
This neurotic-personality disorder conflict is most often found in dysfuctional parent-child relationships.
When the “neurotic” allows the personality disordered to wallow in his/her own irresponsible behavior–flunk out of school, pay for their own room and board, buy their gasoline and pay for automobile care, go to jail–more socially appropriate behavior may develop. He or she may stop drinking or using drugs, study and complete school work, find more responsible friends, and get a job. They might even turn into a “neurotic.”